Thursday, July 22, 2010

Writing Tip #1 Show vs. Tell

Example 1.

I am a klutz.

Example 2.

The two liter Dr. Peppers were stacked chest high at the end of the aisle, in plastic trays that resembled giant egg cartons. I reached for the nearest one of only three left on the top tray. As soon as I lifted the bottle, the entire tray plummeted to the floor, sending one giant bottle of soda bouncing across the supermarket tile. The other bottle hit the ground ass end first, blowing the cap off and sending out a mentos-fueled jet of Dr. Pepper that hit me directly in the chest from ten feet away. I screamed, or squealed really, out of shock as I stood there getting showered in delicious, sticky soda pop. Then Mr. Cate walked casually over from the next aisle to find me dripping wet and standing in a puddle of Dr. Pepper, to which he replied, "I heard something blow up, and I heard a scream, and I knew it had something to do with you."

True story. That's a pretty typical trip to the grocery store for me.


Paul Michael Murphy said...

Awesome. Didn't get it on video, did you?

Heidi said...

Even though I saw you the day this happened, and I knew the story already...still funny. You just made me laugh. Awesome.

Kate said...

Mr Cate's comment says a lot! I bet you're glad you weren't the one who had to clean up!

Lily Cate said...

No, I didn't clean it. I sheepishly found a store clerk and said, "There's a spill in the soda aisle..."
Then I made a run for it.

Mary Witzl said...

I shouldn't laugh at that, should I? But I can't help myself.

My husband once took our kids to the supermarket when they were little. He was spinning the cart with the youngest one in it, making her laugh, when she suddenly got nauseous and didn't know how to tell him. She was spinning so fast, she managed to 'draw' a circle with a 5-foot radius... He'll never live that down.

Lily Cate said...

Oh please laugh.
I can handle my supreme klutziness if I know it at least entertains others.